In this post, we will discuss some methods on how to deal with the terrible twos which is a common behavior change in kids that often becomes a big challenge for the parents.
The terrible twos have gained the moniker for a reason because when a baby becomes more than 2 years old, they start to become very naughty and learns to throw tantrums that are very difficult for a parent to deal with.
Not all kids show the symptoms of terrible twos but it is usual to see this kind of behavioral change in any child because during this phase they become capable of doing things on their own for which they needed support earlier and on the other hand they also struggle in expressing their thoughts because they are just learning to speak.
It is very difficult to reason with them during this age because they are neither a baby nor a kid. Below we will be providing some tips using which you will be able to deal effectively with the terrible twos of your baby but we advise you to stay patient until the phase ends on its own.
Acting at the Right Time
Many of the parents do not take the bad behavior of their kids seriously when the kids are just beginning to show the symptoms. If you will not act on the first few tantrums of your child, then they will start to become more uncontrollable with time.
Stay Calm and Composed
Although in the previous point we have talked about the importance of taking actions, however, one must not confuse it with reacting to the situation.
You must know a healthy way to make your kid understand that their bad behavior will not be accepted. You should wait for the tantrum to be over without giving your attention to what the child is doing. Stay calm and composed whenever the kid is pushing your buttons and ignore them completely so that they should understand that such behavior does not work.
Once they have finished throwing the tantrums, then is the time to talk to them about their behavior.
Knowing the Nature of Your Kid
You must observe and analyze the behavior of your child to know them better. This will help you to understand the times when your kid acts inappropriately.
Make sure to be present around your kid whenever they are behaving badly, as we have discussed in the above point you should not react or give attention to their tantrums but your presence is essential.
Do Not Pamper
Many parents make a mistake of pampering their kids during such times. Giving the kid what they want when they are throwing tantrums may work temporarily but it will make them more mischievous.
Keep Them Engaged
Kids find the time to trouble their parents when their mind is not occupied with something interesting, so you should focus on engaging them in some activity.
Use your creativity and come up with some good ideas to keep your kid away from boredom. You can also use some toys that can help them with their brain development.
Give Them Your Time
Kids act inappropriately in order to get the attention of others, so it is important that you should take your time to be with them as much as possible.
Kids at this age learn various new skills and they want to show it off in front of others. So allow them to show you their newly learned skills and give them the necessary appreciation.
Divert Their Attention
It is always best to avoid taking action during the time when the kid is throwing tantrums, but one thing that you can do is to distract them from whatever they are focusing towards as it is easy to divert the attention of kids.
However, this may not always work and you should not try hard to do this because it can also make things worse.
Talk to Your Kid
The best solution to any problem that your child might be facing is to communicate with them and understand the reason behind their issues.
Talking to your toddler is essential to know why they are not behaving properly because their actions could be a result of some childhood emotional problems they might be facing.
You should tell them that it is completely okay to feel angry at times but they should not hurt other people due to their loss of temper. Also, you should make them understand the importance of expressing and sharing their feelings with you.
Schedule and Plan Ahead
There is always a common link between all kind of situations when your kid has an outburst of anger and frustration. You should find out the reasons that can make your kid act in a fit of temper and plan ahead to handle such situations.
Considering this you should plan your trips by making sure that the schedule of your kid should not be changed. Keep your child’s food and their favorite toys with you whenever you are going out with them.
Kids Don’t Like Changes
The tantrums that your kid uses in the social situations is often due to their discomfort in accepting any kind of change in their daily routine.
You can solve this problem by talking with your kids before going out of your home, making your kid familiar with the place by telling them about where you are going can help them to become more comfortable with places. You can also encourage the good behavior of your kid by giving them rewards whenever they act in a disciplined way.
So these were some tips and methods that will help you to deal with the behavior change that your kid might be showing as they are growing up.
We hope you found this post useful. For some expert opinion and research-based methods, you can try our recommended product named “Talking to Toddlers“.
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I love your approach to really listening and using empathy for children. I tried this approach when my sons were young and preferred it to the hard line approaches that many parents use. I was spanked for most bad behaviour when I was a child and was punished for expressing any negative feelings. The result was that I repressed my anger and became depressed instead.
I was determined that my children would not be raised like this. Children are people too, so many adults seem to ignore this fact. I love to listen to my grand son, really listen,especially when his behaviour turns into a sulk or tantrum. Empathy goes a long way in defusing a tantrum. One must be firm, but also flexable.
I learned to prepare ahead of time when visiting a restaurant with a little one. I bring along some activities that the child can do at the table while waiting for the food to arrive. I even do this with my 8 year old grandson whenever possible.
If more parents did this, there would be fewer screaming children in restaurants LOL! When travelling with a child, same thing, keep a bag of activities and snacks for the trip, it’s better to prevent a tantrum, than deal with one in full swing right?
Love your website 🙂
It is a great pleasure to receive a comment from you because you understand this content exactly from the perspective we have created it. Its a very proud thing that you raised your kids by using the methods that involves love and empathy. It is very true that when a kid suppresses emotions like anger, it causes some kind of psychological issues in them.
Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us and we really hope that you will also like our future posts.
Thank you for this great article on how to deal with the terrible twos. When my children were young, I actually found the three year old phase to be more challenging than the 2 year old phrase. I have heard this is actually quite common. When they did act out in the way you have described, I used some of the ways that you recommended such as divert their attention, and give them time. I definitely found that a set routine helped as well. What was your personal method of choice to use on your child?
Thank you for your response. We believe that giving your child time and most importantly talking to them are some of the best methods that works well in dealing with the terrible twos.
This was a great article with lots of helpful tips. I have a 2 1/2 years old son and he is getting more rowdy as time goes on. It’s kind of hard to stay composed when you are dealing with tantrums for hours on end, but I think it’s something to get used to. When you say “divert their attention” can you give some examples? Do you mean like turning on the TV?
Hello Kent,
Yes, we totally agree with you that at times it becomes hard to stay composed when you are dealing with the tantrums for hours, but it is the time when you will learn to be patient and understand the emotional state of your child and take decisions accordingly.
In order to divert your child’s attention you can give your child their favorite toy or engage their mind in any activity they like and turning on the TV might also be effective.
Good advice on how to deal with the uncomfortable situations that two year old’s can bring on parents; especially first time parents.
I have seen so many people let this stuff cause them so much stress; as you get older it becomes easier just because it does not make sense to sweat the small stuff.
What kind of ideas do you think will help someone recognize this situation as being temporary? Focusing on engaging with the child and diverting thier attention to something else.
Thanks,
Chad
Hello Chad,
Yes, it is new for the new parents to deal with the toddler tantrums but with time and patience one realizes that it is just a phase which will pass with time. We believe that the methods that we suggested might help any parent who is looking for some good tips for dealing with their terrible twos.
I agree that many situations of bad behavior of kids originate from the need to get attention. I also believe that many times it comes from the need to be in control of their lives. They are our kids and we, as parents decide almost everything for them. They sometimes hate this control of our over their lives and it come more clearly with age. A thing that has worked for me and my wife is giving them the power to choose. Of course it doesn’t mean that its a blind choice. We present clear options from whom they can choose. It’s the little thing of choosing the shirt/socks color in the morning or the glass that they’ll drink from. I believe that gives them the feeling that they are grown ups and this felling may subtle the need for rebellion.
Thank you for the comment.
We are happy that you understand the necessity of giving choices to your child and giving them the liberty of taking small decisions of their lives and yes we totally agree with you that these are some very effective methods to suppress their need to get attention by being rebellious.